Breaking news Americans don’t give one IOTA or two Hoots about.
After 157 years of organized professional baseball, those in the know—the advertisers—decided the game needed more excitement and shorter games. They tossed around ideas. Someone
After playing organized, professional baseball, America’s pastime, since 1869, the powers that be, whomever that be, decided that the gamehad become boring. And we all
Therapist catches Z’s while the client confesses to AI Artificial Intelligence is gaining more traction, and more professionals are finding the need to pick up
Officials Fear Rolling AI Blackouts. Officials fear they may need to implement rolling AI blackouts in the distant future, à la rolling power blackouts—that is,
Then there is this story. DG @us_1st_Badass on the trusted news source “X” reports that our young people are being programmed. Programmed to be gay,
“It’s a perfect win, win, win, win. Situation.” Says Government Efficiency Expert (GEE) and Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) Managing Director (MD) Ronald Bovino. Bovino
Breaking news now. It has just been reported that ICE has developed an ultra-secret code. The ultra-secret, hush-hush, don’t even tell your wife or your
slightlyfffffTrump to lead 82nd Airborne jump into the Desert… The Commander in Chief is getting bored with the game of golf. He has stated on
Given his recent success in Adams County, Ohio, this reporter has to ask the question. Will Afroman run for Sheriff? Or perhaps with his newfound
Cupid Accused of Spiking Arrows with Melatonin A controversial Cupid defends his decision to replace romance with sleep for those statistically unlikely to score. Authorities
Growing Number Of Americans Marrying Phones To Bypass “No Devices In Bed” Advice Experts report a rise in smartphone marriages as users look for loopholes
Man Holds Door Too Long, Trapped In Politeness Standoff A man becomes locked in a prolonged social exchange after holding a door for a stranger
From the sometimes occupied news desks of the IOTA news team, covering issues America does not care about—Two Hoots, or One IOTA! In a not-so-surprising
From the sometimes occupied news desks of the IOTA news team, covering issues that America does not care about Two Hoots, or One IOTA! Although
This reporter has stumbled upon yet another severe and potentially fatal national outbreak, and I suggest we contact the authorities posthaste. Yes, EOTS, otherwise known
Announcing the opening of Moon City Realty Following Elon Musk’s announcement that he plans to focus on a city on the Moon. He will return
From the sometimes occupied news desks of the IOTA news team, covering issues that America does not care about Two Hoots, or One IOTA! A
From the sometimes occupied news desks of the IOTA news team, covering issues that America does not care about Two Hoots, or One IOTA! Solutions
Man Curses Couples’ Longevity App, “It’s Added Years to My Wife” A husband regrets downloading a couple’s longevity app after realizing it extended his marriage,
Authorities confirmed that a matched pair of socks entered, endured, and exited a full laundry cycle without separating—an outcome some experts describe as “statistically impossible.”
