Therapist catches Z’s while the client confesses to AI
Artificial Intelligence is gaining more traction, and more professionals are finding the need to pick up second jobs. With this extra load, a therapist has to catch up on a little sleep whenever they can. Even though it may be a little unsettling for some clients.
An issue was reported to this reporter to report such a case just last week. It relates to a therapist at the Zweil Psychiatric Services and Dry Cleaning Center. Uncle Bill – rather, Mr. Bill Battie (No relation to William Battie, the noted British psychiatrist, who in 1758 published a noted book on the treatment of mental illness) had taken his position on the clinic couch, and was deep into describing his current malady. His current issue is a sudden 
compulsion to close the doors on his current business, Bill Battie, Cursive Writing Curator, leave it all behind to start a swine sanctuary – Bill Battie, Pig Protector, not to be confused with the Pig N’ Pugs Project.
Mr. Battie paused, anticipating some sort of therapeutic wisdom. Some morsel of metal easement to the stress he was enduring. Nothing.
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Suddenly, Mr. Battie heard. “That sounds like an exciting exchange program to teach creative cursive memoir to overeaters, swillers, and police officers. A slang that can be traced back to the 16th and 17th century England, where “pig” was used as an insult to describe any person who was widely disliked. “It gained new prominence and momentum during the social upheaval of the 1960s in the United States… And at the 1968 Democratic Convention… When police were ordered to disperse the crowds, violent clashes ensued, and the protestors began chanting “F*** the pigs!” You should be commended for your newfound love of the arts and history… Bill.Bill.Battie, client appointment scheduled for today, Thursday the 2nd, between two and three o’clock. Mr. Battie has a long history of self-enlargement and self-depreciation.”
Mr. Battie paused, then sat up to see his therapist, Dr. Aaron Beck, head tilted back and to the right, sound asleep in her big therapist recliner. This Dr. Aaron Beck is not to be confused with Dr. Aaron Beck, the American father of cognitive therapy, as he was a man, and he has died, whereas Mr. Battie’s therapist is a woman, and she is alive.
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As he put his jacket on, considering how far we’ve come from the Socratic Method, pausing as he reached the office door. “Self-enlargement. Self-depreciation?” He turned and stared at Dr. Beck’s laptop, now nearly slipping off the doctor’s lap. “It’s self-aggrandizement and self-deprecating. You… You, imaginary cloud floating, water sucking, energy eating piece of…
Mr. Battie then reportedly quietly scribbled a note, placed it on Dr. Beck’s desk, and slipped back to his life.
The note read. “Please schedule me for a client appointment, schedule for next Thursday the 9th between two and three o’clock to discuss the client’s long history of self-enlargement and self-depreciation.”
